full moon

Updated: Oct 18, 2021

04-30-2020


the thing i miss most about the people i used to hang out with is that whatever fuckin demons were haunting me, were haunting them too. there was never any question about right or wrong when it was just our nature.


all i want right now is to be able to tell someone how badly i want a fuckin cigarette, and for them to say “yeah me too.” most importantly, neither of us will take action on it. i know— i can hear the self-help mantras reciting through my mind already how i need to be that person for myself.


but fuck, sobriety can feel so damn isolating. i am ENDLESSLY grateful for the people around me who see and accept me for all that i am. at the same time, having someone know exactly where i’m coming from because they’ve been there too is a kind of depth that the light of those whole around me cannot reach.


i’ve worked hard to be able to say that i’m whole now, too. but even though the moon is technically always full, there are nights where the sun’s rays can’t quite meet it, aren’t there? i wonder how it feels then.


does it feel like this?

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